The Big Lie

A courageous, deeply personal, and unapologetically feminist exploration of delayed motherhood and infertility. This enlightening and empowering book should be required reading for every woman."

-Hillary Jordan, author of Mudbound and When She Woke

A candid assessment of the pros and cons of delayed motherhood. Biology does not bend to feminist ideals and science does not work miracles. That is the message of this eye-opening discussion of the consequences of delayed motherhood.

In Assume Nothing, award-winning filmmaker Tanya Selvaratnam bravely recounts the intimate abuse she suffered while in a relationship with former NY State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman and uses reporting to examine the domestic violence crisis.
1 in 4 women in the United States experience domestic violence. Tanya Selvaratnam never thought she would become part of that statistic. Born in Sri Lanka before emigrating as a baby to Southern California, Selvaratnam witnessed her father abuse her mother. She knew the patterns and signs of domestic violence, and she did not see herself as remotely vulnerable. An Ivy League grad, producer, author, cancer-survivor, and connected professional in the art world, Selvaratnam was ready to meet a romantic partner.



When Selvaratnam met then-NY State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman at the Democratic National Convention in July 2016, they seemed like the perfect match. They were both Harvard alumni; they both studied Chinese; they both were interested in spirituality and meditation. And then everything started to shift. Schneiderman became controlling, mean, and manipulative. He drank heavily and used sedatives. Sex turned violent, and he called her his “brown slave.” He isolated and manipulated Selvaratnam, even threatening to kill her if she left. What seemed impossible was suddenly a terrifying reality: Selvaratnam was trapped in an abusive relationship with one of the most powerful men in New York. Her memoir has the tone and terse prose of a dark psychological thriller, but every bit of it is true.



Selvaratnam details finding the strength to leave, risking her career, reputation, and safety, and how she struggled in the wake of the abuse to reclaim her voice. Assume Nothing scrutinizes the insidious way women learn to accept abuse, regardless of socio-economic status, age, gender, race, or religion. With singular sensitivity and nuance, Selvaratnam redefines what it means to be a victim of intimate violence.

‍Please spread the word with this Domestic Violence Awareness Toolkit
Resources featuring advice for survivors, signs of digital abuse, and more

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